Strong Men Strong Marriages

My Wife Says "Stop Making It About You." What Should I Do?

November 08, 2022 Mike Frazier, MD Episode 135
Strong Men Strong Marriages
My Wife Says "Stop Making It About You." What Should I Do?
Show Notes

You’re focused on becoming a better husband and father. You’re serving your wife, trying to listen, trying to do the five love languages… all of it.

But, your wife still says things like “You’re making it about you.”

This can be very frustrating, because you feel like your soul focus is on her!

But, here’s the thing.

If your goal is to be a better husband… that still is about you.

What you want to try instead is to spend time each day getting into your wife’s shoes at a deep level.

In particular, you want to try to understand her suffering. You want to have compassion. 

That’s what compassion is. To “suffer with.”

As you do this, you will completely stop making it about you.

Because if you are genuinely trying to experience the world as she experiences it…

You have removed yourself from the equation. It’s not about you at all.

I realized I hadn’t been doing this very well. My wife, however, does it often. And she has great relationships with the kids and her friends because of it.

As I’ve implemented a daily practice of getting into her shoes and the kids shoes, and in particular trying to understand and feel their suffering…

I’ve felt much closer to them and had inspiration on how to serve them better.

It’s been very powerful and I wanted to share that practice with you today.

It can’t be “about you” if you are really in your wife’s shoes (or your kids’ shoes).

Listen on the Strong Men Strong Marriages Podcast.

Watch on YouTube here.

Dr. Mike

P.S. If you’re a high achieving, professionally successful Christian man who is ready to create incredible mental, emotional and sexual intimacy with your wife, and create an amazing legacy for your family to follow… starting TODAY…

CLICK HERE to apply to join my Love, Intimacy And Legacy program.

You’ll schedule a call and fill out an application that we’ll review on the call. I’m looking forward to speaking with you!